The following column by Magee Police Chief Denis J. Borges looks at jealousy, ambition, and leadership in public service. He urges readers to reject pettiness and revenge, and instead respond with discipline, accountability, and integrity.
Jealousy, Ambition, and the People Who Smile in Your Face
By Magee Police Chief Denis J. Borges
One thing life will teach you real quick is that not everybody around you is for you. Some people will shake your hand, smile in your face, tell you they support you, and still talk against you the minute you walk away. That is just the truth. Backstabbing does not always come from strangers. A lot of times it comes from people close enough to watch what you are building, close enough to see your progress, and close enough to become jealous of it.
Jealousy is a dangerous thing. So is ambition when it is not tied to character. There is nothing wrong with wanting to grow, wanting to lead, or wanting to do better in life. Ambition by itself is not the problem. The problem is when a person wants position without earning it, power without responsibility, and respect without discipline. That is when people start cutting corners, pushing lies, stirring confusion, and trying to tear down somebody else because they do not have what it takes to build something on their own.
Marcus Aurelius understood human nature well. He was a powerful man, but he also knew that a man who cannot control himself is not really strong at all. He understood that you cannot spend your life worried about bitter people, petty people, and people who operate from jealousy. If you do, they control your peace. They control your mind. They control your focus. A good leader cannot afford that.
That is the first lesson when dealing with backstabbing people the right way. Do not become like them.
A lot of people want to answer betrayal with betrayal. They want to gossip back, lie back, embarrass back, and get even. I understand the temptation. But the truth is, when you drop down to that level, you start looking just like the people you claim are wrong. That is not leadership. That is weakness disguised as revenge.
George Washington was another example of a man who understood restraint, duty, and the danger of selfish ambition. One reason he is remembered as a great leader is because he knew leadership was about service, not ego. He could have tried to hold onto power, but he did not. That matters. Real leaders do not spend their lives trying to manipulate people and destroy others just to feel bigger. Real leaders understand that honor matters, reputation matters, and doing what is right matters.
That is where a lot of people separate themselves. Some folks want to lead. Other folks just want the title. Some want to serve. Others want attention. Some want to build. Others want to tear down what they did not create. A jealous person is often frustrated because your discipline reminds them of their excuses. Your consistency reminds them of their laziness. Your growth reminds them of their lack of effort. Instead of working on themselves, they go to work on your name.
So how do you deal with people like that the right way?
First, keep your composure. Not every lie deserves a response. Not every rumor deserves your energy. Some people are looking for a reaction because reaction is the only power they have. They want to pull you into confusion. They want you angry, emotional, distracted, and out of character. Do not give them that satisfaction.
Second, watch patterns. Pay attention to people who talk one way in front of you and another way behind you. Pay attention to people who always carry stories, always keep mess going, and always seem to be in the middle of drama. Backstabbers usually reveal themselves long before the knife comes out. A wise person pays attention.
Third, address problems the right way. Being calm does not mean being weak. Being professional does not mean being blind. If somebody is creating division, causing harm, or working against the mission, handle it directly and with facts. Do not move off emotion. Do not move off gossip. Move off truth, documentation, and accountability. That is the correct way.
Fourth, let your work speak for you. Jealous people hate consistency because it exposes them. When they try to throw dirt on your name and you keep showing up, keep working, and keep producing, it becomes clear who the problem really is. Character always outlasts rumors. Time has a way of revealing who was building and who was just bitter.
History gives us example after example of this. Cincinnatus was remembered because he served when called and then stepped away from power. Marcus Aurelius was remembered because he ruled with discipline and reflection. George Washington was remembered because he put duty over self. Great leaders are not remembered because they were the loudest person in the room. They are remembered because they had character when it would have been easier not to.
That is the real answer to jealousy and backstabbing. You do not feed it. You do not become it. You do not let it poison your spirit. You stay focused. You stay sharp. You keep your dignity. You handle things the right way, even when other people do not.
At the end of the day, jealous people will always exist. Ambitious people without morals will always exist. Bitter people will always exist. But so will strong people. So will disciplined people. So will leaders who know how to stand on truth without sinking into pettiness.
Do not let somebody else’s jealousy change who you are. Let them talk while you work. Let them scheme while you stay steady. Let them chase shortcuts while you build something real.
Because in the end, backstabbers may make noise, but they do not make history. Character does.
Chief Denis J. Borges
Magee Police Department
